How many layers do I need to get to the core? 

By: Rhiane R. Dela Torre 

I was once a girl who dreamed, obsessed with becoming a Barbie doll—feeling that if I became one, I would be pretty enough for someone to notice. Even at a young age, I was captivated by makeup, especially lipstick. In sixth grade, I started wearing it. 

My classmates grew curious, wondering if I had makeup on, but I never budged. The older I got, the more I applied. By 11th grade, I wore a full face of makeup every single day. 

My routine started early—waking up at 5 AM, washing my face with cold water to wake my body up. After breakfast, I stood in front of the mirror and began my makeup.  

First up was skin prep. I applied three serums in order: first, salicylic acid; second, vitamin B; and lastly, a serum to close up my pores. Applying them in this order gave my skin a radiant glow. Afterward, I used a face moisturizer to prevent dryness—my go-to was the Aveeno Everyday Face Moisturizer.  

Once the moisturizer was absorbed, I moved on to my makeup routine. I applied concealer from Squad Cosmetics on my dark circles and dark spots, letting it set for 10 seconds before blending it out with a makeup sponge. Then came blush—Issy & Co.’s blush gave my cheeks a sunset-like glow. To set my base, I lightly applied Dr. Sensitive loose powder on my T-zone, keeping my skin fresh while maintaining my blush’s radiance.  

Next, I enhanced my eyes by applying a tiny amount of dark brown eyeshadow to the outer corners, creating a soft wing effect. Using the same eyeshadow, I contoured my nose to achieve a button-nose look. Then, I curled my lashes, starting from the roots and working my way up for a naturally lifted effect. My favorite mascara—Maybelline—completed the look, making my lashes appear effortlessly curled all day.  

Finally, for my lips, I first applied a lip balm to prevent dryness, then finished with my Detail Cosmetics lippie.  

Getting ready for my daily routine could be a hassle—who would want to step outside, smelling like smoke from transportation vehicles and looking haggard before the first period even started? That’s why I got ready with precision—one wrong product could ruin my entire day.  

But something still felt missing. Why did I still feel so delicate, as if my body and face could break at any second—like a lipstick gliding onto the surface of a lip, trying so hard not to be smushed like a piece of clay? No matter how thick I applied it, it would always crack, leaving imperfections. And inside those imperfections was me. No matter how hard I pushed my boundaries to the limit, I still found that little girl—one who had been harshly affected by the world.  

Maybe beauty was never about perfection. Maybe it was about embracing the cracks, the flaws, and the little girl underneath it all. Because at the end of the day, makeup could enhance my face, but it could never mask the truth of who I was. And perhaps, that was the most beautiful thing of all.